Real Talk Tuesday: Forget Busy, Find Clarity

I've been wanting to write a blog post called Real Talk for a really long time. According to Urban Dictionary, Real Talk is "The philosophy of talking candidly and openly and honestly without fear of what others might think. A) usually for another's benefit to let them know of something that is usually hard to discuss B) to let others know that you are talking honestly and sincerely and that what you are expressing is not a joke and that you are unabashedly being true to your own thoughts and feelings". I sometimes wish that I had a really honest real talk friend, who would be like you need to get your life together, stop fronting and get to the reality of the situation. So this is your weekly dose of real talk, a reality check in yo face kinda thing. Well, okay maybe not so in your face, gently in yo' face, or at least I’ll try. ;)

Let's talk about busy. I duno about you but pretty much most my conversations go something like this: Omgah I have been sooo busy. Omgahd. I know right, me too, I am soooo busy too! Ya know, people are busy, people have things to do, places to be, and people to meet. That’s the norm, when people don't act like their busy or say they aren't, people tend to stare at them with a look of pity, ohh, thats nice.. and then change the subject back to their busy-ness. I know I'm guilty of reacting this way. You know what I’m talking about, we end up celebrating each other’s busy-ness, and praising it.

Since when was being busy something to celebrate? Its good to be busy, but not just for being busy sake. I’ve gone through that busy being busy part of my life. After graduating college, I started my own fashion biz, designing, sewing, PR, patternmaking, you name it, I did it. But at one point, I was always busy and always overwhelmed. But still not really going towards what I really wanted. I felt like something was missing from my life. I wasn’t really facing the reality of my situation, or the reality of where I truly wanted to go in my life. I came to a point, where I was like what am I doing with my time? Why am I so busy, and where am I going with all this? I had lost clarity on where I wanted to go in my life, and where I was going.

The truth was, I profoundly wanted to help people, and help people change their lives for the better. But everything I was doing was not in alignment with that. And that was when that feeling of something missing creeped in, and made me question what I was actually doing on a day-to-day basis.

The whole point of this post isn’t to make you feel bad for being busy. Life get’s busy there’s nothing wrong with that, so long as your busy with the things that are most important to you. If you’re not truly satisfied with your life, and you’re still busy with things you don’t want to be doing. Don’t let the act of being busy take up most of your life. Only to realize you were too busy with the wrong things, people and places, and end up somewhere you didn't even plan on being.

Being busy is a choice, and what your busy with is important. It comes down to making time for something, or someone. If you don’t have time for the things that are important in your life, then its time for a reality check. Its time to realize busy just means, I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m doing a lot of things to distract from the fact of not knowing. It comes down to time management, priorities & clarity.

We let busy dictate our lives. Worst of all, we use busy as an excuse to not live our best lives, or to avoid the reality of our current situations. Busy is much safer, than admitting that we’re doing things that don’t serve us, or our purpose. It makes us seem like we’re doing something but in the end, we’re just going in circles without clarity. Using busy as an excuse to stand idly by in your life, and not progressing and growing as a person is not okay.

So let yourself get to the root of your busy-ness, and find some clarity on what you, your heart, your soul wants. Start saying No to the things that don’t matter, and saying Yes to the things that do. You owe yourself this, because it’s your life, and it’s your responsibility to make it the best one!

So what are you busy with? And how are you going to make time for the things that matter most?

With Love,

links love

{Happy Chinese NewYear! via weheartit} 

This week has been exceptionally awesome. Got to spend some quality time with the nephew, teaching him how to stick out his cute lil' tongue. lol. And learned how to back float in my swim class. woot. And it is Chinese New Year this weekend, so I'm kind of excited cause its the year of the snake, and I'm a snake. :) After a lot of thinkingg, I decided to do a link loves post every week, to get back into the swing of blogging and share some of my fav reads with you all! <3 Love to hear some of your favorite reads too! <3 
  • Why is it that when you reach your twenties you feel like your friends are dropping off like flies?!.. this explains it, and makes you feel wayy better about it. Cause it sure makes me a feel a lot better.
  • I always wanted to blog about bad friends, but love how they put it bluntly.
  • I love my daily dose of the daily love, Mastin, always writes posts that are so relevant to me, especially the latest on change as a gradual process. Definitely a reminder that I needed that everything takes time. But will eventually get accomplished! 
  • Sometimes it takes the most simple statements that in turn can make an extraordinary impact on someone else!
  • To put it bluntly, you just have to let go of the bad friends, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
  • Alexandra Franzen is one of my fav motivators on le internet, she shows you how to gracefully bow out of commitments only for good reason, of course.
  • I can really relate to this NY Times article on shyness and defining what that is: “Shyness is fear of social judgment, a consuming worry about how people view you. Introversion is more about a preference for environments that are less stimulating". 
  • Loving Leo Babauto's tips on limiting the use of computer, i really have to give this 30 minute interval thing a try. Its been so difficult limiting my time and telling myself to get off the computer.
  • Help people, dont interrupt them, how changing your language can make a big difference in how people feel, love this. though its in blogger/business terms, this can totally be integrated into our daily life. 
  • I am a big fan of Danielle La Porte, I'm currently reading her book the fire starter sessions, and I admire that she is able to take the criticisms of her book to make a point with her latest blog. And most also this is so truth: 
    "If you’re showing up as honestly as you know how to — you’re going to annoy someone. Criticism and counter opinions are part of dynamic expression and creativity. If you’re not generating some resistance, you’re probably not fully stepping out ."
  • I have been trying my best to wake up early in the morning, think 5:30 am everyday, but its not been the easiest journey, I typically wake up at 8... soo I'm definitely giving these early awakening tips a try! 
Hope you enjoy the links loved, I love sharing my favorite reads from the week! <3 
Have an awesome beautiful weekend too! <3 And Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it! 

<3 Kelly 

Oh Italia - Part 1

This was such a dream come true to finally see the colosseum, I have wanted to go to Italy for so long, that it just felt so unreal when I finally got there. But it was beautiful, and I enjoyed exploring Rome, Milan, Venice, Florence, & Pisa. These photos are actually from my europe trip last year, but I didn't get a chance to blog about it. And I just really really miss Europe lately, and am having major wanderlust again. <3 So here are a few of my photos from Rome. <3

good conversations

I am a hugeee fan of Gwyneth Paltrow, she is just so beautiful, amazing and real!! I'm also a big huge fan of her site Goop. I have been obsessing over this new site I discovered call The Conversation. Where they interview celebrities, and powerful woman, on real, geniune topics. Things like how you get over people judging you from Gwen (take a look at the video above), that really resonated with me, because I have a problem with worrying about what people think of me. And Its so true that what people think of you is more a reflection of what they think about themselves, rather than you as a person. 

Andd I loved loved this conversation with Melissa McCarthy, talking about when she was in her twenties, and she would always say she was busy and that being in your twenties is rightfully the time to be selfish. I feel this. sooo much. right now. Because everyone I know is constantly telling me their busy, but what exactly are you busy with?! I'm really trying to eliminate the word busy out of my vocabulary.  I also enjoyed hearing about how her priorities shifted with having children, granted I wouldn't want to have kids right now, but knowing that their is a shift in the future,, kinda makes me happy.

There are tons of other vids, that I loved from The Conversation, but I'm just going to post two because they really got me thinking about my life, and things that I relate to really well. 

I hope everyone has an amazing weekend, and an even awesomer super bowl Sunday!! <3

<3 Kelly